The Diary of Josh Richter
by sun star sea sand
Summary: The english assignment of josh.... not quite as sad as it sounds. Bloaty head alert!
1. A beginning at least

Disclaimer:  I am not meg cabot, I don't own her stories, I'm just a big fan

Note from me:  Hi, this is the newly edited version of his diary because I was receiving a bit of criticism about the old one.  I'd be interested in your views so I can improve my writing skills.

**12th October 6.30pm**

Well, this is my stupid assignment for English, (Hi Miss Hindenburg).  I don't really have the time to write this but coach says I have to get a C average to stay in the team so I'm giving it a shot.  I don't really know what to write about…

**Still 12th October 9.20pm**

God, I forgot I hadn't written in this damn book, it's 9.20pm, I should be out with Lana (My girlfriend by the way Miss H) or the guys but I'm stuck inside on a Friday night!  I'm meant to write half a page a night!  God, this homework thing is hard, can't I just get someone to do it for me?  I suppose I could tell you what happened today, this geeky junior called Martha, no Maggie.  Hang on, it's something short, ummmmm…… MIA!  Aha, yeah well anyway, she's some sort of royalty or something.  Lana's jealous, lunch today was a total strain, she keeps calling that Mia girl a wannabe and stuff.  According to Lana, her locker is right next to mine, and has been since September!  Make's me think though, it would be cool in a creepy way to date her, Mia I mean, I'm already dating Lana, have I already written that?  Erm… Oh yeah, anyway, according to Lana she's worth a couple of billion dollars!  Just think of all the burgers at Macdonalds I could buy with that!  

**STILL 12th October 11.30pm**

Sorry to cut you short just now Miss H, Lana rang, can't say why cos I was watching tv but it was something about, um, Mia again.  I don't know how chicks can talk none stop for two hours!  I mean, what can they talk about for that long?  Clothes or something I bet but still!  If I even mention sport to her she has a fit, "God, you're so selfish" etc.  Hey, that's half a page FINALLY, now I can go out!  Good it's only 11.30, I wonder is Mark's party has started yet?


	2. Lana, booze and the new Princess

**14th October 8.30pm**

Um, yeah well I wasn't, you know, really, um, well, what's the word….Awake, um yeah, yesterday and so kinda forgot to write, and I know I should do, like, 2 half pages which is, um, you know, a page, yeah, but come on Miss H, I'm doing your homework, ME - Josh, most popular guy in school, so I'm not gunna stretch myself, cos coach says that's bad and I should keep my energy.  

Hey, 4 lines already!  God I rule.

Oh well anyway, yesterday I went to my friends party, well it started Friday night but it ended yesterday, which was really great, but I don't really remember much.  Oh, but Lana was there and apparently I broke up with her at 3.30am because she wouldn't get me a drink (which is a good reason) but that's only what one of her bimbo friends told me.  

I think they all expect for me to go, like, running back to her, but I kinda see this as a, um, good thing as I can, you know, 'play the field' and all that, and I'm not talking about football!

Hey, I wander if any footballs on tv?  That's a good idea, go me, god I rule.  Ow my head.

**15th October 7.00pm**

Hahahahahahahaaaa, well at school today Lana looked like a complete freak, all cos of me!  Wow, I'm so great.  Yeah, and that princess girl, Mia or whatever, was by my locker so I kinda made a sneaky move, cos she's like royalty and when might I get another chance?  Well she really freaked and dropped, like, all her books, hahaha.  

Oh and then in trig when I was telling my mates about her, that Michael guy, the one who's sister looks like she ran into the back of a bus, started all going, like, defensive on Mia, saying that she's having a hard time and that I should be nice to her and stuff!  

(Yeah like I'M not having a hard time, come on, how hard can being royalty be?  She can pack up school and STILL be a billionaire when she's older!  Everyone thinks I'm smart and stuff, cos some test said I was ivy league material, but I cheated off the nerd opposite!)  

Anyway, so I told him:

"You know, if you like her, why don't you make a move?" 

And he just blushed like a 4 year old and mumbled something.  How obvious is that?  

Well anyway, I don't see why I can't move in on her, hey, I'll ask her to the Cultural Diversity Dance, and if she's cool then I'll keep her, and if she's as much of a freak as she looks, I'll leave her and go back to Lana!

Great plan, well done me!

Whatever.


	3. The Dance and Mia the Ice Queen!

**Disclaimer: **Sorry 'bout not doing this last chapter… don't sue me!!!!  I am sadly not Meg Cabot (sniff) nor do I own her stories or characters!  Happy???

**Note from me: **Thank you to all you great people who read and reviewed the 1st two chapters, I've finally pulled my finger out (not literally though…ouch) and have written chapter 3!  I have a thank you list at the end!

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**16th October **

English 

Well I did it, I asked out Mia and even if she is, like a complete freak at the dance and dances like a kangaroo on dope, it was totally worth it to check out the look on Lana's face at lunch.  Okay, maybe I didn't make a move on Mia or anything worth getting all, um…er, Lana-ish about but she is worth like a billion dollars so it's totally worth it!  

Yeah, so anyway, I've got a kinda list of stuff which I'm meant to write but it's really hard, 'FAVOURITE BOOK' for gods sake, like the last time I read a book was probably that one with the multicoloured elephant in kindergarden (ever since the invention of films, reading assignments are, like, completely un…erm…useful!)  

Oh, that Michael guy is shooting me some majorly evil looks, but what's he really gunna do?  I mean, if what I think is true, he is into his sister's best friend, which is at the top of the list of things which you just don't do!  Like when I sat with Mia and that weird Indian girl with the bodyguard at lunch, I could totally see Lana shooting evil eyes at me, but hey, I don't care, I did the dumping and so that's that.

Hang on, the dance is in, like, 5 days!  I've gotta get myself a tux!

 **20th October 9.00pm**

Sorry bout not writing to you Miss H, I've just been majorly weighed down with homework and stuff.

Oh, the dance is tomorrow by the way and I'm starting to kinda worry, like Mia's bodyguard follows her EVERYWHERE, so what happens if, you know, at my after dance party, we kinda want some privacy if you know what I mean.  Is he gunna just stand there and watch or something!  

I'm taking her to the Tavern on the Green, which is Lana's favourite place so she's gotta like it too, and we're meeting the guys there, because, having never really said more then, like, four words to her, I don't want to spend a whole meal not speaking!

But I really should do something outrageous to annoy Lana, but what……..?

Phone's ringing, gotta go!

**Still 21st October 10.30pm**

Well I just had the best idea, like, ever!  Well it wasn't really my idea, but still, I'm gunna ring the press and get them to be outside the dance!  Oh god I rule!  Gotta go and ring them now!

**21st October 11.30pm**

**My place at the after dance party.**

How dare she, I mean, god, what gives her the idea that she can upstage ME – Josh Richter.  No one dumps me, no one, not even Lana, and I though it was, like, every girl in the entire school's dream to be kissed by me!

Ok, lets rewind, I'll give a run through of what happened especially for you, Miss H!

First we went to the Tavern on the Green, the car ride there was crap because, like, what do you say to the biggest freak in the school about for 15 mins?  I had my dad's card, so, you know, I treated everyone to fillet mignon, their most pricy dish!  Apparently she didn't eat it but, hey, Lana never does, I thought she was just anorexic!

Then we arrived at the dance, and as all the press were screaming for me to kiss her, I did, and she didn't seem really to mind, until we got inside and there she had, like, a psychotic fit in front of EVERYONE!  Apparently she's a veggie, well come on, it's not like she didn't have time to tell me on the way, and that she didn't want to be kissed!  However the worst thing was that I just knew Lana would find out that I had been left by little miss 'I can do whatever I like cos I'm a princess' and I spent the rest of the night trying to work out how me and her could patch things up (me and Lana I mean).  

I just feel sorry for whatever country Mia's gunna be queen of, cos even though she is, like, the richest chick in school, she is still the biggest freak!

Damn, sometimes I hate being this good-looking and popular, but at least I don't have to be sick every time I look in the mirror!

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So watcha think???? TELL ME!

**Here be thanks:**

Maia4eva

Lucky7

Fairylove

StarWars-Freak

Jennifleur

Saffron Spice

More or less all of you mentioned how much of a jerk josh is…. Thanks!  

REVIEW!!!!!!!

xxx


	4. Prince Mia Thermopolis

**Disclaimer: **Well I still don't own The Princess Diaries and I never will, sniff, doesn't life suck!?!****

**A/N: **ONLY 2 REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER!!!  AHEM!**!**

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**23rd  October**

Trig

Yeah well I got back together with Lana, but can you really blame me Miss H?  I mean, if you were, like, 40 years younger, you'd totally wanna slide with me wouldn't you?!?

Little miss 'I am so great' princess is, like totally avoiding eye contact which is totally fine with me as she does look a bit like the offspring of a broom and a canary!  To like completely, erm, annoy her I gave Lana like the most greatest getting back together kiss ever, and she hasn't mentioned the dance once (was she actually there?!?  God, I can't remember!)

It was also, like, the biggest game of this season yesterday and we completely whipped those ugly spastics asses!  I personally think it was because of my absolutely fabulous looks which stunned all of the players back to wherever they came from, but when I told coach this he told me just to take an extremely cold shower and to get over myself!  He's just jealous cos he's way way way past his prime, while I look as fantastic as ever, I was gorgeous from the day I was born, did you know that Miss H?  I mean I was so great, I have a picture of me an hour old which I kiss twice a day!  I suppose it must be a bit embarrassing for Lana, being seen with someone so much better looking then her, ok she's not geeky, but she's hardly Britney!

**Still 23rd October**

Trig (again)

Sorry about having to leave you just now but I completely forgot what sin 90 was and had to find my calculator.

I just glanced into Michaels book (he's the one with the munted sister and sits on the next table, great for cheating) and he was writing some sloppy love poem/ song thing to do with a glass of water or something!  God the computer club geeks are nerds!  He still completely digs Mia though; he's got her name in a huge heart on the inside cover of his note book!  Like that's the sort of thing chicks do!  Lana went round calling herself 'Miss Josh Richter' so I think Michael should be 'Prince Mia Thermopolis' (is that how you spell her name?)  Hum, lets see what he does if I call him that.

**Still 23rd October**

The Corridor - Trig

Hahahaha he's in lurveeeeeee!  Hey I know, I'll write our mini conversation for your entertainment Miss H.

**Me:** Hey, Prince Mia Thermopolis, whatcha writing?

**Michael:** 'Scuse me dude, what'd ya call me?

**Me:  **Prince Mia Thermopolissssssssss.

**Michael:** Go jump off a bridge; don't you have a mirror to look in to?

**Me:  **Dude, I'm not going out to my locker in Trig to get my mirror, and besides I know I look hot, I can see my reflection in the varnish on my desk.

**Michael:** You are so superficial

_Superficial??????????_

**Me:  **Listen dude, if you've got it bad for the princess then ask her out, I'm done with her now, she wasn't worth it.

**Michael:  **Don't talk about Mia like that!!

**Me:  **Oh man, you've got it baddddddddd!  What the hell are you writing?

Here's where I grab it 

**Me:**  'The first time I saw you, you brought tears to my eyes.'  Oh Jesus, cry baby!

**Michael:**  (_Now standing up)_ GIVE THAT BACK!!!  _(Makes a pathetic weedy grab, misses completely)_

**Mr G:**  What's going on here?

**Me_:_**_  (Now shouting)_'And although I love you, I hide it with lies.'  Dude, this is like so desperate.

**Michael:**  Give that BACK _(another pathetic attempt to grab)_

**Mr G: **I've had enough!  Josh, give that back to Michael now, THAT'S AN ORDER and go and stand in the corridor!

God life is fun, hang on, here comes the Principal!

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Well that's chapter 4!

**Thanks to:**

StarWars-Freak: Thanks for reviewing again!!! Much thanks to you! (^-^)

Maia4eva: As above, thanks for reviewing every chapter, is good to know my time isn't wasted!

See you all next chapter!

xxx


	5. 5 Things You Didn't Know About Josh

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own it, what'd you expect?

**AN:** Thank you for reviewing, yet again I'm not worthy!

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**24th October**

**Trig**

Oh man this is, like, so not cool!  When I turned up to school this morning, fashionably late, there was a new guy sitting in MY seat in homeroom- calls himself Justin Baxen…. Whatever.  Anyway, ok he's kinda cool and stuff but the girls have all totally gone after him making me YESTERDAY'S FREAKIN' TRASH!!!

Plus, although Lana's still my chick, she was SO checking him out!

I go:

"Hey Lana, babe, stop checking out the new dude, you're my chick"

And she said back:

"Joshy, stop being so paranoid!"

And went back to fluttering her eyelashes at him!  PARANOID!!! I'M SO NOT PARANOID!  Hell, I just can't live under these conditions!

What else?  Oh yeah, like, I know I've kinda killed the subject but back to Prince Mia Thermop…why do people have such weird names?  Yeah well, the princess is going out, like officially, with some dude… Kenny something, I'm not really sure as he's not in the team.  Anyway, Michael's been seriously bummed and so I had some fun when we were in the hall saying he's missed his chance and that that's what happens when you dig your sister's best friend!  Like, can his sister look any more like a circus freak???

Still, he didn't bother replying but it was like SO obviously grating on him even though he has a follower, some freak who does something with fruit flies!

Gotta go!

**Still 24th October**

**Lunch**

HAHAHA!  Yeah, I know writing a journal at lunch is totally sad but I just HAD to write this!  Kenny just shouted how much he digged Mia in the hall and Michael looked suicidal!!!  It's just so damn entertaining!

**Yet again 24th October**

**5:00pm**

Miss H, can you PLEASE cut back on the homework!  It's killing me but I'll give it a shot.

**5 things you didn't know about me.**

*****I have an older brother called Mark; he's totally cool, 2 years older then me and RULES at football!

*****My favourite food is burgers!  Okay so maybe if you sit next to me in lunch you'll know that but hey, you didn't did you Miss H?

*****I drive a silver convertible Porsche that my Dad gave me for my 16th birthday present and it KICKS ASS!

*****I got 13 parking tickets in the first month of having it and have been pulled over by the cops 3 times for speeding!

*****When I'm older I want to be a Women's Volleyball Coach… YEAH!!!!!

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**Thanks to:**

Robtaymattlouned

Sugarbear14

XxPunkHottie87xX

**Thank you (^-^) you guys rule!**

**xxx**


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